u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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