It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
