I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
