I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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