Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
