I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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