Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
