im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
