She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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