Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
