He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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