There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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