Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
