I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
