Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i was in the wii world.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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