Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize