Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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