ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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