even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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