Cold hands, warm shart.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
