HIV tests are more positive than that guy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
