I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
