i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
