is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I stole a fireplace last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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