The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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