hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
