Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
