she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
