This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
