i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
