no. you can't hotbox the world.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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