Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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