I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
