...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm really busy with my period
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