I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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