I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize