Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
