Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
