I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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