Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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