Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize