Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
