i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
