had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Farmville is her only friend.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
