The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
