I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
