He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
