4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
