dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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