he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
