How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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