I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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