My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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