Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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