from now on my penis is your penis
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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