Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
