Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
