You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
