More tranny stories later!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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