giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
