And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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