If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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