new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
