The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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