you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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