too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Come see our sink grown plant.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
